Generational Dynamics
Fourth Turning Forum Archive


Popular links:
Generational Dynamics Web Site
Generational Dynamics Forum
Fourth Turning Archive home page
New Fourth Turning Forum

Thread: Xers becoming soccer moms / dads







Post#1 at 09-13-2006 10:03 PM by 1990 [at Savannah, GA joined Sep 2006 #posts 1,450]
---
09-13-2006, 10:03 PM #1
Join Date
Sep 2006
Location
Savannah, GA
Posts
1,450

Xers becoming soccer moms / dads

As we get closer and closer to the heart of the 4T, we are seeing the generations shift in age location, just as S&H say. As you know, the G.I.s are mostly gone now, and the oldest Silents have hit 80. As for the others:
  • The oldest Boomers are nearing retirement age
  • The oldest Xers have had a midlife crisis
  • The oldest Millennials are about to hit 25
  • And the new generation is being born
So this is a typical 4T shift. But what does it mean that the generation of Molly Ringwald and Kurt Cobain is entering that "responsible adult" phase of life? What does it mean that the original generation of Valley girls, grunge, and John Hughes movies is now driving SUVs, attending PTA meetings, and complaining about feeling old?

20 years ago the Boomers redefined midlife as something more youthful, more proud, and more active than it had been in the past. Instead of becoming "old farts" at 40, Boomers became, or at least strived to become, "cool parents" with a hip sense of fashion, music, and haute culture. When I was born, Boomers were the moralistic midlife parents dominating society, and Xers were the coveted but unpredictable youth of commercial industry. Already Boomers have become less of a force in society and more the dominant group in politics, apparently heading toward that wise-elder role held by previous Prophet generation leaders such as Lincoln and FDR. Will Xers be able to fill their new midlife role? And how will they fill it?







Post#2 at 09-13-2006 11:56 PM by Finch [at In the belly of the Beast joined Feb 2004 #posts 1,734]
---
09-13-2006, 11:56 PM #2
Join Date
Feb 2004
Location
In the belly of the Beast
Posts
1,734

Quote Originally Posted by 1990 View Post
Instead of becoming "old farts" at 40, Boomers became, or at least strived to become, "cool parents" with a hip sense of fashion, music, and haute culture. When I was born, Boomers were the moralistic midlife parents dominating society, and Xers were the coveted but unpredictable youth of commercial industry. Already Boomers have become less of a force in society and more the dominant group in politics, apparently heading toward that wise-elder role held by previous Prophet generation leaders such as Lincoln and FDR. Will Xers be able to fill their new midlife role? And how will they fill it?

- I have no problem calling myself an "old fart" at 39. [I was programming computers 10 years before you were born.)

- Even though I'm happy to play video games with my kids and buy them the latest gadgets, I have no pretense that I will ever be a "cool parent". Then again, my parents were both Silents, so I never expected that to be my role.

- When I sit around and talk with my cohorts, even the married ones with kids, there's still this barely-contained sense of disbelief that we're parents; and we don't consider ourselves "grown-ups".

- Millions of us Xers have already had our midlife crises. Mine started at 35 with bankruptcy, and moved inexorably to my current pending divorce. Even then, it felt like I was a little behind the curve.

- How will we fill our new midlife role? Like we always do -- by acting out. Me, I'm getting a tattoo.
Yes we did!







Post#3 at 09-14-2006 08:46 AM by Virgil K. Saari [at '49er, north of the Mesabi Mountains joined Jun 2001 #posts 7,835]
---
09-14-2006, 08:46 AM #3
Join Date
Jun 2001
Location
'49er, north of the Mesabi Mountains
Posts
7,835

Thumbs up The later Xers at home

I don't think the second half of the Xer Parent group will helicopter about their children as the later Crown of Creation and first Xers did. They have seen the results on the Millennials and wish something of more variety for the Homelanders. (From a very, very small sample.) It may not yet be Crisis but the Unravelling is very aged and unattractive.







Post#4 at 09-16-2006 01:13 PM by Neisha '67 [at joined Jul 2001 #posts 2,227]
---
09-16-2006, 01:13 PM #4
Join Date
Jul 2001
Posts
2,227

Little late to the party here, guys? Xers have been running elementary school PTAs (the most active ones) for a good five years now. As I type this, my husband and kid are at -- you guessed it -- mitey mites soccer! At the sidelines of the soccer fields is where you'll find most Atari-wavers on a sunny Saturday in the fall. It's not a bad life.







Post#5 at 09-16-2006 03:50 PM by Finch [at In the belly of the Beast joined Feb 2004 #posts 1,734]
---
09-16-2006, 03:50 PM #5
Join Date
Feb 2004
Location
In the belly of the Beast
Posts
1,734

Quote Originally Posted by Wiz83 View Post
Wow, it is quite hard to think that all those grungey, MTV-loving "slackers" from the late 80s/early 90s are now thirty and fortysomethings driving their kids to soccer practice in minivans... Nope, looks like Xrs aren't going to let themselves become, in Kurt Cobain's words, "bored and old" anytime soon.
Except for those of us that are already "bored and old." Then again, I was never a grungy, MTV-loving slacker in the 80s/90s. Maybe I peaked too soon.
Yes we did!







Post#6 at 09-16-2006 07:56 PM by K-I-A 67 [at joined Jan 2005 #posts 3,010]
---
09-16-2006, 07:56 PM #6
Join Date
Jan 2005
Posts
3,010

I don't know very many Xrs who I would view, or would view themselves, as being "old and bored". This year is going to be interesting and fun with all the 40 bashes on slate. I probably won't consider myself "old and boring" until I'm around 60. I wasn't a grungy or an MTV loving slacker either.
Last edited by K-I-A 67; 09-16-2006 at 07:59 PM.







Post#7 at 09-16-2006 09:55 PM by antichrist [at I'm in the Big City now, boy! joined Sep 2003 #posts 1,655]
---
09-16-2006, 09:55 PM #7
Join Date
Sep 2003
Location
I'm in the Big City now, boy!
Posts
1,655

It's true. I did schlep around several first grade girls in the Durango this spring comlete with cleats and all.

Xer parents
pile of little girls
lots of "stuff"
obnoxious sport ute.

I think I have reached a new level in life.







Post#8 at 09-17-2006 12:13 PM by Neisha '67 [at joined Jul 2001 #posts 2,227]
---
09-17-2006, 12:13 PM #8
Join Date
Jul 2001
Posts
2,227

Oh c'mon, admit it, it's fun! The other parents are all interesting. And those little multi-culti kids are so cute in their oversized shirts.

It sure beats our 70s childhood of hanging out on a vinyl couch in the knotty pine paneled basement watching "Rosemary's Baby," while our parents drank Grasshoppers and did who-knows-what-else while listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass upstairs in the living room.







Post#9 at 09-17-2006 03:22 PM by 1990 [at Savannah, GA joined Sep 2006 #posts 1,450]
---
09-17-2006, 03:22 PM #9
Join Date
Sep 2006
Location
Savannah, GA
Posts
1,450

X vs. Millie

Neisha, I think what you just described is the textbook Xer childhood.

Were your parents Boomers or Silents?

It's funny how different nurture was in the '60s and '70s compared to the '80s and '90s. My childhood was right out of "Baby Boom" or "thirtysomething" - yuppie Boomer parents, reading all the self-help and parenting books, listening to my opinions, and worrying about the future. While many Xers were latchkey kids, Millies have been raised to ask their parents' permission on everything. And the parents don't seem to mind! Hence the helicopter parent phenomenon.







Post#10 at 09-23-2006 07:14 PM by Neisha '67 [at joined Jul 2001 #posts 2,227]
---
09-23-2006, 07:14 PM #10
Join Date
Jul 2001
Posts
2,227

1990, you need to read a book called "Little Children" by Tom Perotta. It's all about suburban Xer parents and their overly precious offspring. In fact all of you guys should read it, even though the characters are quite annoying. The main effect it had on me was to be glad that I'm not a stay-at-home-mom and that I don't live in the suburbs. But, it *is* dead-on accurate. So accurate, in fact, that they're making it into a movie.

My parents were core Silents, 1936 and 1938 cohorts. My '69 younger sister and I are (obviously) core Xers. It was pretty great in a lot of ways to be on the receiving end of Silent parenting, but I wouldn't want to replicate it with my kindergartener.







Post#11 at 09-23-2006 08:56 PM by 1990 [at Savannah, GA joined Sep 2006 #posts 1,450]
---
09-23-2006, 08:56 PM #11
Join Date
Sep 2006
Location
Savannah, GA
Posts
1,450

Interesting

I will look into that book, sounds interesting. Your story is very interesting as well; you sound like the archetypal Xer (in a good way, of course).

I wonder if there's a way to find what percentage of a generation was parented by any other given generation. In other words, what % of Xers had Boomer parents and what percentage had Silent parents; or what % of Millies had Boomer parents versus what percentage had Xer parents. It would be interesting to see.







Post#12 at 09-23-2006 09:04 PM by Neisha '67 [at joined Jul 2001 #posts 2,227]
---
09-23-2006, 09:04 PM #12
Join Date
Jul 2001
Posts
2,227








Post#13 at 09-23-2006 09:05 PM by Neisha '67 [at joined Jul 2001 #posts 2,227]
---
09-23-2006, 09:05 PM #13
Join Date
Jul 2001
Posts
2,227

And here's a link to my new favorite Xer mommy blog:

http://wackymommy.org/
-----------------------------------------