So a Presbyterian minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into this bar and the bartender says, "what, is this some kind of joke?"

ba-dum-bum-CHING

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God." The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the priest The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?" The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."

A contribution from my 16 year old.

What is brown and sticky?



A stick!

Bumper sticker on an Amish buggy:

“Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!”

Poodle, this one's for you!

The Funny Guys at Kulula Air

Originally Posted by Skabungus

A contribution from my 16 year old.

What is brown and sticky?



A stick!

lol. That's so funny.

Fark headline today:

"Irish Prime Minister denies claims that he was drunk or hungover on a recent radio interview, immediately destroying any hope of his reelection"

http://bbc.in/9GLTzT

James50

Heads of states shouldn't be allowed to drink. Think of all the damage they could do if they were drunk and made a mistake. It seem.s they can do enough damage while sober.

Originally Posted by Adina

Heads of states shouldn't be allowed to drink. Think of all the damage they could do if they were drunk and made a mistake. It seem.s they can do enough damage while sober.

Lighten up, Adina. Its a joke.

James50

Yes, I know.

Originally Posted by Adina

Heads of states shouldn't be allowed to drink. Think of all the damage they could do if they were drunk and made a mistake. It seem.s they can do enough damage while sober.

And you don't think your preachy?

Originally Posted by ASB65

And you don't think your preachy?

Maybe a little bit. But less than most people.

Originally Posted by Adina

Heads of states shouldn't be allowed to drink. Think of all the damage they could do if they were drunk and made a mistake. It seem.s they can do enough damage while sober.

Do you have any idea how much stress heads of state are under.

Look at the presidents hair, he went gray in less then two year. Hell, if they don't get a drink every once in a while to lower their blood pressure.

Originally Posted by Debol1990

Do you have any idea how much stress heads of state are under.

Look at the presidents hair, he went gray in less then two year. Hell, if they don't get a drink every once in a while to lower their blood pressure.

Oh yes, becoming an alcoholic will really help things. If they have so much stress, they ought to resign. Btw, are you planning on drinking when you're older?

Originally Posted by Adina

Oh yes, becoming an alcoholic will really help things. If they have so much stress, they ought to resign. Btw, are you planning on drinking when you're older?

Dear, at times you can be entirely ridiculous! Believe me, I specialize in the absurd. For you, is it ignorance or stagecraft?

Yeah of course I was just being saecastic. Of course I didn't mean to advocate drinking. Why would you want alcoholics running your country? If they need alcohol to get rid of stress, then they are not good leaders.

Originally Posted by Adina

Yeah of course I was just being saecastic. Of course I didn't mean to advocate drinking. Why would you want alcoholics running your country? If they need alcohol to get rid of stress, then they are not good leaders.

... written by one too young to know the meaning of performance stress, demand overload or critical responsibility.

Why would drinking help those things? Wouldn't it be better to have someone else take charge during those times, to get the best possible result?

Originally Posted by Adina

Why would drinking help those things? Wouldn't it be better to have someone else take charge during those times, to get the best possible result?

Hum...I'll bet you would be surprised at number of functioning alcoholics who were very successful and good leaders. I've known a few in my personal life. So odds are they were also around in the past. Perhaps even some of more the famous people we know of.

Back on topic?

My father's mother must have been born around 1870 or so--she died in 1930 of a heartattack. She was a very religious orthodox Jew from Ukraine who never wanted to come to America--my grandfather was the pioneer in the family. She was very strict, moralistic, and clearly, based on everything I have heard, not a very nice person, although my father insisted to the end of his days that she was a saint.

Anyway, my father loved jokes, and one day he told us this one, which he said his mother had told, to the utter amazement of the whole family, because of its subject matter. It must have been 50 years later but I could still hear the shock in his voice. And it is funny.

In a small town in Eastern Europe, a notorious and unpopular man died. The two rabbis in the village refused to preach at his funeral. Finally the family found one in the next town who knew him and said he would do it.

"When I think of the deceased," the rabbi began, "I think of King David."

The congregation gasped.

"I think of Solomon." More gasps. "And finally, I think of the lord god." A woman fainted.

"I think of David because he, too, committed adultery. I think of Solomon because he had a thousand women. And finally I think of god--because he wasn't a human being either!"

Originally Posted by KaiserD2

Back on topic?

My father's mother must have been born around 1870 or so--she died in 1930 of a heartattack. She was a very religious orthodox Jew from Ukraine who never wanted to come to America--my grandfather was the pioneer in the family. She was very strict, moralistic, and clearly, based on everything I have heard, not a very nice person, although my father insisted to the end of his days that she was a saint.

Anyway, my father loved jokes, and one day he told us this one, which he said his mother had told, to the utter amazement of the whole family, because of its subject matter. It must have been 50 years later but I could still hear the shock in his voice. And it is funny.

In a small town in Eastern Europe, a notorious and unpopular man died. The two rabbis in the village refused to preach at his funeral. Finally the family found one in the next town who knew him and said he would do it.

"When I think of the deceased," the rabbi began, "I think of King David."

The congregation gasped.

"I think of Solomon." More gasps. "And finally, I think of the lord god." A woman fainted.

"I think of David because he, too, committed adultery. I think of Solomon because he had a thousand women. And finally I think of god--because he wasn't a human being either!"

Funny David. (Even the one you removed.)

James50

I am not sure where to put this one, but humor seems like as good a place as any.

Now, there is an entire opera to enjoy in Klingon, created by a Dutch group called the Klingon Terran Research Ensemble.

The opera is called U, from the Klingon word meaning universe or universal. The group performed the opera at the Zeebelt theatre in The Hague, the Netherlands, from 9 to 12 September and are planning another showing in Farnsberg, Germany, on 25 September.

What do you think Chas88?

In other Klingon theatre news, performers in Washington DC will present Klingon translations of selections of Shakespeare's Hamlet and Much Ado About Nothing on 25 September.

more here: http://bit.ly/9Nn37u

James50

Originally Posted by Xer H

Poodle, this one's for you!

The Funny Guys at Kulula Air

Thank you!

Originally Posted by Adina

Heads of states shouldn't be allowed to drink. Think of all the damage they could do if they were drunk and made a mistake. It seem.s they can do enough damage while sober.

Check with Churchill and FDR on that.