I believe an acid kool-aid test that actually works for determining if someone is reality-based is to ask that if Gore had been elected would we still have invaded Iraq in response to 9/11. If someone answers in the affirmative to this question, there really is no point in arguing with them.
However, if one's answer indicates reality-based thought processing, then it can be pointed out that the 2000 Florida vote was decided by only 537 voters. Further, the votes casts for either Ralph Nader or for Pat Buchanan far exceeded that 537 vote difference, and if either of these candidates had not been in the race, the vote count would have shifted substantially and decisively to Gore (Nader's swing is obvious, but Buchanan's swing would also have gone to Gore given the "butterfly ballot" mis-voting). Essentially, the election of Bush over Gore was decided by either of these men's decision to enter the 2000 race. Ergo, the difference of war/no war with Iraq was decided by relatively very few individuals.
With just this one example, to support your argument, one would have to claim indifference to all the death and causalities suffered by all sides in Iraq. In many other posts, I haven't found you to express such indifference, in fact, quite the opposite.
One of life's lessons is that purity is pretty unlikely in the real world. However, there is a huge difference between swimming in an overflowing septic tank and swimming in the ocean where some kid might have pee'd in his swimsuit yesterday... and the difference should be obvious if one wants to objectively function in the real world. How's that for an analogy?